Excuse me Sir, but thats my foot you are standing on. (n linx)

It never fails to surprise me how oblivious people are sometimes to their surroundings. This morning I was standing outside the store and I was watching a man on the opposite side of the street walking and talking on his cell phone. Either that man was so engrossed in the conversation that he didn’t see the tree, or he just failed to see the huge tree in his path. Well, it wasn’t exactly in his path, it was slightly to the right of it. Anyway, he walked head on into it. It was hard not to laugh when he backed up a couple feet, rubbed his head, and looked around to see if anyone had seen it. I waved when he looked over at me. He waved back with a big ol grin on his face.

This past winter I was trying to fix the pressure mat in front of the door at the store, I’m on my hands and knees with an assortment of pliers, screw drivers and duct tape when a woman opened the door right into my fucking head. It’s not like the front door isn’t a full pane glass door. So, the dumb bitch opens the door a good whack into my dome, I stand up swearing and she continues to try and open the door while I’m standing in front of it. She finally opens the door, and I’m still swearing

“Oh, I didn’t see you there.”

And walks in the store.

“How the FUCK didn’t you see me there!? Excuse me, I need to get some ice.”

I open the door for her to leave.

She holds up a pair of clogs

“You have these in a size nine?”

Needless to say, I didn’t get her the fucking shoes. Well, she was more stupid and selfish rather than oblivious, but you get the point.

Aside from the dude walking into the tree, I’m also pretty astounded by Bush’s sheer lack of common sense and observation. Like the customers that walk in here and talk on their cellphones even though I have a shit ton of signs all over the place that say “This is a cell free zone”, he’s just fucking oblivious, or, like the customers that try on the display shoes even though I use to have signs post that said “Save our shoes, please don’t try on the displays” he’s got some warped sense of entitlement where he thinks that the laws that everyone else has to abide by don’t apply to him. (Or the signs) While comparing retarded customers to our retarded Prez is kinda far reaching in itself I seriously wonder if mommy drank while preggo with both.

This self righteousnesses that is displayed across the board is really quite mind numbing when I see all these houses going into foreclosure, and all the small businesses just here on Cape alone, taking a dive bomb into the fucking shitter. But no, there isn’t aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanything to worry about. Really. He has everything under control. Really. Here have a couple hundred bucks to spend on crap to help jump start a drowning economy. Thats a really nice fucking thought, I would love to use my money and go buy another pair of shoes, but I have bills I need to pay, and the increasing cost of living I need to worry about. A new pair of shoes or a new ipod isn’t going to feed me, or put gas in my tank every day so I can get my ass to work and make just barely enough to get by.

Does buying groceries count as “stimulating” the economy?

Also, lab rats of lesser gods.

Yea, that makes sense.

So does this.

OR

You can just go fuck yourself. A pick me up!!! Crackhouse…uh….before the crack? coke? heroin? ah hell, fuck it, heres my girl Amy lookin cute as a fuckin button.

I don’t remember where I got this pic.

Per Post. PMS, Stress, Boyfriends and Midol****Rantamble****

I’m not sure if it is just plain stress, or if PMS has something to due with it (I’m not exactly what one would call emotionally stable when I’m about to rag………) but I honestly can’t get out of my own fucking way these days. I’ve been hitting up meetings left and right, and I sit there with this buzzing in my ears and a weight on my chest. I had an anxiety attack on my way to work this morning, and the nightmares have been keeping me up for the past week, regardless of sleeping pills. I’m trying to calm myself down and tell myself not to worry about the car, money, or looking for another place to live, but the thoughts just won’t sit still. I’m tired, I’m over worked, underpaid, and getting very fucking resentful at everyone. The ones that deserve it, hell, they deserve it. Boss Man for not paying me more to do my job, the RMZ, my rents, etc. But I’m starting to take it out on people who don’t deserve it, like Slick, my sister, my friends. My girl Tot called me a couple nights ago to go out, I bit her head off saying she knows how broke I am, why would she ask me to go out blah blah blah. She hung up on me, after she told me to take a pill. Which is what I did. I feel horrible about acting so sullen when I really have nothing to be so pissy about….part of the shit thats been going though my head also is the fact that I keep doing the same literal shit over and fucking over again, like dating a guy in the military….We were e-mailing back and forth this early am, and the subject came up yet again

” I think my situation is the most advantageous because you’ve been exposed to the military lifestyle and know what to expect. A lot of others think they know, but have no idea…….”

I’m just sitting there staring at the screen of my mac, and just groan. Yea, I have been, and it fucking sucked then, and it sucks now. I know what to expect, and I know all too well that feeling of swinging from calender day to the next, waiting for them to come home, and spend a few short days together, only to do it all over again. Not to mention that little nagging doubt and fact that sits in the back of your mind knowing that accidents do fucking happen, and they could get hurt………I just sucks that we end up missing each other more than we actually get to see each other. I should write a fucking book on how to date/marry men in the military. And how to fail at both with an unimaginable amount of grace and energy.

Eh, the things we do for love.

Oh my God.

Wow.

It’s hard to read that type of shit and keep your cool, and not wish horrible things on anyone who will see their world though the eyes of their religion and murder an innocent child. First, they were just throwing dirt and playing dirty, now, fuck dude, I don’t even know.

“Authorities imposed a curfew in the area and US troops launched a search for those responsible.”

Heh, good luck with that my friends….Fuck this shit dude.

Really.

Daily Dose of Bloat.

Yes, I’m kinda obsessed with this chick. My boyfriend thinks shes an unhealthy role model. I think my boyfriend is a little close minded. (I love her abs)

I have no words for this

Except for.

WHAT THE FUCK.

I found this via jezebel.com.

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t breast fed, or maybe because I’m not a mom, or maybe it’s the fact that I like my tits the way they are, and not saggy, but I have always found the concept of a small human being hanging off my tit a little, uh, disturbing. Like, don’t get me wrong, I love it when Slick goes to town on my nipple rings, but 1. it’s called foreplay and 2. He’s not an infant.

That kid is seven years old, and still breast feeding? SEVEN?! Lord, the girls gonna be hitting puberty in another 6 or so years, how badly is THAT going to fuck her up? I can honestly say, that I was genuinely disturbed by this, so much where I had a fleeting thought of abuse. Would that fleeting thought be more permanent if her little girls were little boys??

Now, since I am not a parent, nor do I plan on being one, like, ever, some of this post may seem a bit flaky and, for lack of a better term, unguided. BUT, like, breastfeeding establishes a type of bond that is suppose to evolve, and by evolve, I mean that as the kid grows up, the nurturing aspect of parenting should take on a new shape for a growing child. It seems to me that something like breastfeeding a 7 y/o stunts that bond, and could very well cause the child to develop an unhealthy attachment to the mother. Not to mention an ooky view on boobies. Like, did you SEE the end of that clip?! DID YOU SEE IT?! No? GO WATCH IT!

I know why I have boobs. (aside from it being my dads fault) Their not attached to my chest so my boyfriend can suck on my nipples or to play the bongos on them. They are there so I can feed a baby. And to stick hollow 14 gauge needles into the nipples…But, self mutilation aside.. I’m kinda wondering if these girls will fully understand that breasts are not just for a main function…As shitty as it sounds, I’ve always held the belief that breasts DO make the woman, big, small, droopy and all the other sizes and shapes tits come in, these fat deposits are what set us apart from men. Aside from, you know, that hole between our legs, and the lack of a penis. If women didn’t share the same thought as I do, then they would not be getting re constructive surgery post mastectomy.

There is something rather selfish about that mother, I’m not saying that shes malicious or anything, since she seems genuinely feel as if her children should be deciding when enough is enough. But it seems that she is just cornering her girls into co dependency for as long as possible until SHE is ready for them to leave the nest, not the other way around. Not to mention she seems to let her kids walk all over her…But it was only a short clip, and I don’t know this woman from Adam, so it’s just my observation. A mothers job is to protect and nurture, (and to some times give a good ‘ol ass whoopin) and in protecting her children she should also be protecting them from behaviors that in the long run can be deemed detrimental to their self esteem, and mental health. I’m not saying that these kids are gonna grow up to be effin’ batshit, but I honestly don’t see how that is healthy. At all.

Ugh, great. Now when I’m trying to fuck Slick tomorrow night I won’t be able to keep my head when he’s licking my nipples.

I think I’m gonna be sick.

Of all these things….Dude was the word, a blog in which I learn a very hard lesson in sticking shit up my nose that is NOT my fucking finger….The mucus lining of the nasal cavity is thus destroyed. Oh, and my friend Matt gave my buddy Shane a lapdance.

I did something out of the norm this weekend. I had a life and went out with my sorely neglected friends. I laughed. I cried (from laughing, and walking head on into a closed door, which I swear to God, was open). I got a nose bleed. And I drank. A lot. Now, before I go on, I would just like to say this.

I made and had every intention of being a good girl. (please note the use of italics)

I had no intention of letting that wild little thing that lurks inside me, which I had beaten over the head, hog tied, and stuffed in the truck of a Buick Skylark, out of said trunk.

I did not, repeat did NOT intend to get as sloppy shit faced as I did this past weekend.

That being said.

Oh my God I am never drinking again.

Some conversations that summed up the night/weekend very well……(Also, the term “dude” is used on such a constant basis, all forms of the word are applicable in conversation. I have no idea why I wrote that. I’m still hungover)

Me: Dude, I heard that Amy Winehouse snorted vodka.

Shane: Dude I did too!

Me (sitting there with a bottle of vodka in front of me, look over at Shane) Dude

Shane: (grins) Dude. Do it.

So. Now I know how much that hurt, I won’t be doing that again. Ever.

Shane: So, does this mean I can’t get a lap dance?

Me: Uh, not from me…

Look over at Matt.

Me: Hey, how drunk are you?

Matt: Well..Lemme put this way….if you wanted to fuck, I’d have to use my fingers

Dan: I’ll give you 50 bucks if you give Shane a lap dance

Matt:Make it 75 and we got a deal

I have never seen so much homosexuality with so many heterosexual males in my life.

Good weekend, great friends and now a killer hangover.

I couldn’t have asked for more.

So, in conclusion.

That whole thing about snorting vodka, yea, thats a load of fucking bullshit, it doesn’t fuck you up, well, maybe if I wasn’t so hammered to begin with…..Anyway. I don’t suggest doing it, it burns like hell, I wanted to puke, I couldn’t stop coughing and sneezing, and I got a nose bleed. All the while freaking the fuck out that the vodka had gotten into my lungs and I was going to develop some sort of a lung infection, and die.

While I was freaking out over some sort of booze induced pneumonia, Dan tried to calm me down by snorting a shot of vodka also.

Which came shooting out his nose again, drenching his lap with boozy boogery goodness.

Sometimes I miss being buckwild and stupid, and then I wake up the next morning, spend about twenty minutes prior to my shower vomiting every morsal of food i have eaten within the last 2 weeks, and I have to remind myself that I am not, in fact, that wild little thing anymore, and I can’t get away with this anymore, and I’m suppose to be this person who doesn’t kill their hangovers by nursing a bottle of vodka all day.

However.

I made a memory, I didn’t do anything too to stupid, and I was (for the most part) not pushing the envelope to hard. As in, I halted all alcoholic activities after my nose started to bleed.

Somehow, I’m very proud of myself.

San Dukes.

My Mom isn’t pickin up the phone, since she hates Mother’s Day as much as I do, I totally understand. So I hope she will understand when she comes back from her trip to Boston and sees that I dumped all my dirty laundry at her house, and expect it to be washed, and folded by tomorrow night.

I just had a lil kid wish me a happy Mother’s Day.

Ouch. Yea…Kinda stung a lil.

Snap

I can’t decide if I want to punch a fucking hole in the wall, or dig one and crawl into it.

I think I’m gonna go with option A.

Faded in Review.

There are few writers that really leave me with a  certain taste in my mouth, that isn’t attached to a grunting male, yanking on my hair, and jamming himself down my throat so hard I have to do everything in my power to control my gag reflex, and not to bite down….

This piece, by someone affectionately known as Fade(d), has done just that. To say I am impressed with this post, is a rather stale understatement.

What ever is in your head my friend, spills out on a certain type of raw elegance I would give up all my shoes for.